Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 03.07.2025 00:38

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Zohran Mamdani’s surprising surge fueled by pocketbook promises, social media savvy - New York Daily News

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What shouldn't you Google?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Are British people in awe when someone from the United States visits their country?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

What did your best friend do that ended your friendship?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Can someone write me a sex story?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

HBO’s Gruesome True-Crime Doc Tried to Have Its Bombshell Moment. There’s Just One Problem. - Slate Magazine

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Some candidates focus on blocking Cuomo’s path a day before NYC’s mayoral primary - AP News

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is the cause of the common odor many senior citizens have (despite good hygiene)?

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”